her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
