smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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