Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
why is half of my head shaved?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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