Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
