he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
