a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
try to milk me bitch
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