her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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