Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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