the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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