i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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