$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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