did you get engaged???
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
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