I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
