He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
