census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
