love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
