porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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