please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
