Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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