Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
