I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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