This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
