hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
