"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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