i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
