I cockslap morals
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
