I like my sex mixed with concussions.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
