found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I would fuck him just for his dog
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
