Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
