I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
