i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
