YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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