quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
