where am i from again
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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