there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
