Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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