Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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