Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think I sprained my soul last night
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
