Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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