Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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