so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
