This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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