Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
