Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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