He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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