first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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