Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
