Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
