it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
In America we eat man semen.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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