I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
