Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
