I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
