I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
