In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
How does one acquire holy water?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize