I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
