you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
