For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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