this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
