I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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