how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
