Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
