i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
