How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
