tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
