i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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