My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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