Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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